What lies beneath... the path to resilience

Much like the lack of an agreed description of leadership, resilience is a somewhat slippery item to define. Yet it continues to be the topic of the moment and something organisations, teams and individuals are eagerly seeking. So, why is it important that leaders invest in it both for themselves and their people?

Life is complex, with unending volatility for countless reasons; a global pandemic, global social and environmental movements, the exponential pace of technological advancement, the big ‘P’ and little ‘p’ political climate, rapid organisational change, life, death, marriage, divorce, any number of factors that challenge our daily existence, we are full.

The pressure to succeed, whatever that uniquely means for an organisation or individual, seems to be demanding that people work at a consistent, rapid pace, with ever-increasing demands, change around every corner and an agility much like that of an acrobat juggling fire sticks whilst somersaulting off a trapeze. Skilled as we may be, this unending challenge is having an impact on our physical, mental and emotional health in a way that is not sustainable.

So, what is this much sought-after resilience? Having been through a not-very-bouncy time in my life, and as someone dedicated to the study of us humans, I can attest to resilience being the ability to steadily deal with what life gives us, to flex to changing conditions with ease, to have faith in and be curious about solutions, and, most importantly, to trust and believe in yourself.

Human beings are resilient. We are born with it and use it from the moment we arrive on the planet, albeit as with other traits some have more propensity for it than others. However naturally inclined you are, in this increasingly challenging world, more attention and effort is required for us to access and nurture our innate resilience so that we may live not just to stay afloat, but to lead with courage, grace and conviction.

Maybe one day we’ll create a resilience pill, pop it and away you go to be your most resilient self. Until that time, I am grateful every day for the years of practice I have dedicated to this art and the benefit it brings, and feel incredibly lucky to be in a position where I can share this with others at a time when it seems most needed. In my years as a coach, it is consistently true that small, carefully chosen practices and interventions are what create powerful difference in people’s physical, mental and emotional health. This difference results in a greater ability to lead both self and others expertly through volatile times.

People matter. We need each other. We need to stay connected to ourselves and to the people around us. Investing in practical, pragmatic support during times of challenge is no longer a nice-to-have, it’s a necessity. The right support shifts attitudes and behaviours and creates greater awareness and accountability, resulting in healthier, happier people, groups and teams that thrive rather than survive.

You might expect me to say this as a coach, but I get unrelenting joy from working with humans. I continue to be utterly humbled by the resilience of the human spirit and our capacity for ‘bouncebackability'. I consistently 'sit across' from clients [in their square screens] who show dogged determination to deliver, to not fail, to carry their team, to prove their own credibility as a leader, all impressive traits, but at what cost? What often lies beneath is struggle, overwhelm, frustration, shame and unspoken desperation at not knowing how to change things. The right support enables to people surface what’s real, and take steps to build and maintain behaviours that lead to helpful emotional, physical and mental states. True power is not pretending to be who or how you’re not, it’s being and showing who and how you really are, this quality can lead us all to success.

As executives, leaders and coaches we must be brave enough to acknowledge what’s really happening for us and the people who are in front of us every day. Ask yourself: How am I being as a leader right now? How many hours am I working? How is my sleep? How well is my body? How emotionally balanced am I with work and home? Overwhelm is commonplace, from the frontline customer service advisor to the CEO; this complex, fast-paced existence is taking its toll and we must lead the way by being brave enough to face into what’s real, and committed enough to practice habits that keep us resilient.

The simplest of actions can bring instant awareness to what’s present, what’s being impacted and what’s needed to move through challenge to a place of control and confidence. And the statement ‘we are what we repeatedly do’ could not be more true. We and our organisations are unique, the trick is to find what works for you in your context and repeat the hell out of it: a mindful walk for 15 minutes instead of a sandwich dash; a self-care practice; deep breathing break before that tricky call; daily realistic prioritising; screens off at 8pm to aid quality sleep; having that difficult conversation; reflection time; stopping.

There are many ways we can stay steady and grow resilience and, as with any other skill we wish to master, it takes dedication and practice. Time and time again I see clients make the smallest of changes, to their mindset, their habits, their commitments, and realise almost instant results. The power of providing an environment where your people can come together, understand they are not alone in their stresses and struggles, work with tools and techniques that support resilience, and help them access their wisdom, skill and will is not to be underestimated.

What defines us and the organisations we lead is how we show up, how we react and the decisions we make. It’s a courageous decision to choose to be resilient, it means staying self-aware, having healthy physical, mental and emotional habits, facing into difficulty and revealing the good, the bad and the ugly. The reward is feeling strong in your own skin, safe on your own two feet, confident in your abilities and open to connecting with the people and challenges around you so that your organisation, your team and most importantly, you, can flex with ease to whatever’s around the next corner.

#leadership #resilience #embodiedleadership